More occupational hazards: marking, civilization, and colds

It’s been weeks since my last post and I know that in blog land, that is a very, very long time. I’ve been marking student assignments and final exams, as well as dealing with my own end-of-year portfolios. Now that I’ve finished, I’ve caught the requisite end-of-term cold, so I’m forced to lie about and think. When I’m under the weather, I always think about Woolf and her essay “On Being Ill,” in which she states that the mind is esteemed as a civilizer of the universe. By allowing ourselves to become ill, the potential for further illness—for “wastes and deserts of the soul”—becomes possible.

It’s totally true. I’m wrung out after weeks of almost constant marking. I’m not someone who can just apply a time limit to each page. Sometimes, I’ll spend as long as forty minutes per assignment. I second-guess myself, I second-guess the writing, I second-guess myself. (Maybe I should say I third-, fourth-, and fifth-guess all of these things. You get the picture.) Thank goodness there’s an established marking criteria guide for me to reference. I emailed it out to my students and told them to self-mark their work so that they’d have an idea of where they’d land in terms of grades.

The issue is, after six years of workshops, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of assigning creative writing a grade. This incongruity has only happened since I started grad school, where we’re told not to worry about grades any longer and are hence liberated and free to take risks. At an undergrad level though, I feel as though there’s the assumption that students need to know the basics. That they have to know the rules in order to break them. Blah blah blah. I’ve heard myself say it a million times.

But why not liberate new writers sooner? Now that I’ve internalized the marking criteria guides, I can’t help but see them hovering over my own page like a stencil when I sit down to write. Not a good feeling. Marking has completely taken over my life – but not the marking up of any pages with new writing, unfortunately. Did my workshop students have similar experiences? I think I’m going to ask a couple of them to discuss their thoughts about introductory creative writing courses here. That’s what I’ll do.

And I’m going to return to Woolf again. (I know – it’s just a cold. What can I say? I like drama.) Woolf says illness is why we need poets and writers to create a heaven that we can access when we’re sick – that the sick grab at the instinctive, evocative quality of language because there aren’t words to express the experience of illness. So I’m going to bunker down with the latest Paul Vermeersch and Steven Heighton. We’ll see what happens.

Posted in Health, Life, Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Krista Eide on occupational hazards

Either I don’t work long and hard enough, or I’m just lucky, but hunching over the keyboard and tap-a-tapping doesn’t leave me with back pain, hand pain, eyestrain, or any of the writer’s traditional aches. Because words never come to me in neat, ordered sentences, the painstaking cutting-and-pasting, condensing, expanding, and scrapping is painful enough.

My sheer frustration with making stuff publishable, or even coherent, often manifests in itchy skin, flushed cheeks, and, when things are really bad, a throat that threatens to seize up. When my body hits that point, I leave the house or office, walk to a nearby park, and get on the playground swing. But I don’t just sit there twisting my toes in the sand. I swing. As high as I can. For as long I need to.

The wind on my face and the rhythmic sailing between sky and ground eases the itch and the constricted feeling, and cools me down. (Twisting in figure-eight patterns helps loosen mental blocks, too.) Yes, often there are children swinging next to me, and their parents eyeing me from the nearby bench, but I don’t care. The kids are swinging just for fun. They don’t need it the way I do.

Krista Eide is a writer and editor who blogs about Vancouver arts, food, and excellent happenings at www.granvilleonline.ca/secretcity.

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Occupational hazards

In a word, sitting. I sit for hours and hours a day. I sit so much that you could bow a lovely Dvorak melodrama on my hip flexors. As thrilling as that sounds, it’s pretty painful. My massage therapist and I have a good relationship – I see her after I’ve done something heroic, like lifting a car off a little old lady or standing up too quickly from the breakfast table. (Actually, I only have one table. It can be the breakfast, lunch, second lunch, early dinner – you get the idea – table.)

This desk jockey business is wearing me out. In the past five years, I’ve slipped a disc, torqued my sacrum, and after long period of typing, can’t feel the middle fingers of my left hand – and I’m only thirty. To make matters worse, my eyes are going. The other day at work, I wasn’t able to focus the text on my computer screen. Couldn’t have focused to save my life. After a visit to the optometrist, I now stare at the fire alarm switch down the hall from my cubicle. I’m supposed to focus on it for at least one minute every hour. Unfortunately, the switch is next to the washrooms and more than one person on our floor must think I’m a total creep. Between the lewd staring and the pelvic stretches in the lunchroom…In case of emergency, pull alarm.

What do writers do to keep physically healthy? Never mind, let me rephrase that: what do writers do to keep themselves from falling apart? What are the occupational hazards we face? How do we deal not only with the physiology, but the physicality of writing?

I’ve asked three writers, Krista Eide, Karen Shklanka, and Ray Hsu, to share their ideas with me, so standby for further posts.

And get up right now and stretch, for heaven’s sake.

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Where’s my fool?

Is it a coincidence that National Poetry Month starts on April Fools’ Day? Having been duped early this morning by a Starbucks press release about new cup sizes (issued by the VP of Volume, no less), I find myself wondering.

Fools and poets are old friends who go way, way back. Further back than the old Saran-wrapped toilet seat prank and other hijinkery. Foolery, by contrast, is serious business. The fool who shakes his bell-tipped donkey ears most immediately in my head is Lear’s, followed by King Henry’s fool in The Tudors, a show I watched obsessively until I started dreaming of beheadings. Maybe a fool would say dreaming in beheadings – who knows. In any case, fools and their riddles are as old (and even older than?) Beowulf.

Poetry workshops, however, are another matter. Born mid-twentieth century, the workshop is a relative newcomer on the poetry scene who takes himself seriously in an intense, pipe-smoking, patched-sweater kind of way. Designed to bifurcate the speaker from the writer, the writer from the lived experience, and the lived experience from the writing experience – workshops are usually regarded (strangely enough) as a safe place to receive critical feedback about a poem that, let’s face it, everyone in the room knows has everything to do with the person who wrote it. But what about the participants who provide feedback to the writer? Are their written comments offered the same safety because they’re written on the same page?

In the workshop I’m currently enrolled in, someone turned in a poem that was a carefully arranged block of workshop comments she’d received from the class about her work, entitled “A Good Piece of Piece.” Turning in this poem took her, as the writer, out of the confessional alignment many workshop participants are accustomed to; the poem isn’t personal on that level – basically, it’s a critique of a critique. The sometimes vague, wonderfully critical, and oftentimes bizarre language used in workshops (“You mean the corpses aren’t human?”) is taken right out of context and then put right back in again. It’s well-hinged simulacrum, and jargon aside, the important thing is that the poem does what it’s supposed to do, and fabulously. The entire class laughed as she read it out loud. Then grew very, very quiet.

We’d all been fooled. Response was generally positive, but a few people were clearly sketched out. They said they didn’t feel comfortable workshopping the poem because they could identify some of their comments in it, so they weren’t able to be objective. Fair enough. But I got the impression they felt a little exposed. In effect, the poem inverted the workshop’s writer-feedback model to feedback-writer. It challenged its own authorship and identity.

Maybe because I’m graduating soon, I’m trying to own my work more. There’s a world out there of workshopless, or, depending on how you look at it, workshop-free writers. I’m not saying writers don’t need community and people to show their work to and all the other good stuff that comes along with workshops – I absolutely value those things – I’m just wondering about self-mentorship. Why is that a riddle?

Workshops or no workshops, I’m happy about all the poetry and poets in my life. Happy National Poetry Month, Fools.

Posted in Criticism, Poetry, Reading, Reviewing | Leave a comment

(In)congruence

Wednesday night, Carmine Starnino read at Locution, UBC’s MFA reading series. Having recently finished This Way Out, I’d been anticipating his visit for about a month, even though the very idea of him scared the shit out of me. I should confess that This Way Out was my introduction to Starnino’s work; I had avoided reading anything he’d written because his reputation as a critic had preceded (what I came to realize was) his exquisite poetry.  Stupid move, I know.

What honestly came as more of shock was that Starnino is a nice guy with a sense of humour. When I asked him to sign “Our Butcher,” he wrote: “I hope you’re not a vegan.” (No worry there.) He was warm, encouraging, and spoke to me poet to poet.

Starnino’s visit got me thinking about the job of the poet, which I gather he does full-time. As I approach graduation, the career options I’m considering are teaching, communications work, or moving to Lasqueti Island, constructing a cob hut, and writing tomes and tomes of verse.

I’m pretty far from the Lasqueti scenario; the afternoon following Starnino’s reading, I attended a graduate seminar on stress management, or, as the facilitator encouraged us to reconceptualize it, living a congruent life. I usually resist this kind of jargony, vague language, but he had a point. Not that we should reconcile ourselves to stress – but that we should resolve discrepancies between what we believe and what we say; what we say and what we do; our priorities and our energies; and our intentions and our impacts.

I definitely feel a rift in my life, but are such spaces discrepancies? Sina Queryas’s recent posts on Harriet (here and here) discuss, rather than state, the space (call it congruent, incongruous, or otherwise) between the profiled poets and their careers. I’m not writing as much as I’d like, but I’m editing, workshopping, TAing, and learning HTML and content management systems. The way I’m experiencing my life feels pretty rich (and yeah, stressful), and that’s where life, career, and poetry (for me, at least) seem to be coming from.

Posted in Criticism, Life, Poetry, Teaching | Leave a comment

On optimism

In response to the call for submissions on optimism (see Jacob MacArthur Mooney’s blog) for National Poetry Month, it seems a bit obvious to write about publishing, but I’m going to do it anyway. First, full disclosure: I’m finishing up an MFA, which includes writing the ubiquitous poetry “thesis”, which I, in moments of optimism, prefer to think of as a manuscript. It’s more direct; it can be embarrassing enough to be an MFA student (cliché for writers of my generation) and even worse when a well-meaning person asks me what I’m researching.

“Well,” I say, “it’s not research in a customary sense.” Square my shoulders. “It’s a book of poems.”

Eyebrows raise.

I skulk away before they can ask me any more questions.

The truth is, I don’t want to be asked where I’ve published and when my book will be coming out. Sometimes these questions are rhetorical challenges, sometimes encouragement. But in either scenario, they bust me up. Even though I’ve been writing my entire life (yes, granted, badly) and studying how to write for over six years, I’ve had one poem published in a literary magazine, and it took four years of rejections, at that. To be clear, I know my experience is pretty typical and I’m not complaining, per se. It’s just that it sounds a little crazy when I say it outloud.

I don’t stop sending out my work, though, due to firsthand editing experience. In 2009, I began editing PRISM international. I was happy and honoured to have the opportunity to put out a little poetic karma and publish some new writers. I viewed the cardboard filing box of poetry submissions as sacred stuff, not slush, and still do. So many submissions should be published but aren’t because there isn’t enough space – translation: funding. In essence, the rejection slips aren’t patronizing – they’re true. I know it’s hard to swallow. I track and rank rejections the way interior designers might quarrel over blue: “Well, it’s more of an azure.” “Definitely not – I’d say cerulean.” “But really, wouldn’t you say it’s leaning more towards purple?” In my case: “That smudge there – I think the editor’s pen touched the paper. Perhaps she was going to write me a note but was too tired.” “‘Thank you.’ Is that sarcastic or genuine?” “Send again? Okee dokee,” (this poor editor has no idea what he’s in for).

Shortly after I started working at PRISM, James Moore announced his plans to cut funding for magazines with circulations below 5000. Gordon Campbell followed up by cutting funding for the arts in BC by 90%. I’ve petitioned, written letters, sent emails. These cuts aren’t just killing literary magazines, I argue, they’re killing the careers of emerging writers. Obviously, I’m not alone – the implications of these cuts have been felt across the country. Thousands of people – established and emerging writers – and more importantly, readers, have appealed to these governments to reverse their decisions. But it hasn’t helped. As Billeh Nickerson put it at the Vancouver International Writers and Readers Festival, it will take decades to replace the lost funding infrastructure.

If there’s a positive side to the cutbacks, it’s the number of Canadians who have demonstrated how clearly they care about writing and publishing. So from a sheer economic perspective, there’s a market. And if literary magazines aren’t going to be able to showcase emerging writers’ work, perhaps it’s time to reconsider traditional publishing avenues. The passiveness of that sentence kills me. It’s time for poets to consider how to publish. That sounds a bit better, but still tentative. I’m just scared to say, “Poets need to publish themselves.” I’ve been taught that self-publication is the best way to ensure a literary press will never publish you. I’ve attended a couple of Writers’ Union conferences and know that in some circles, that’s old-school thinking, but I can’t bring myself to consider self-publishing as a viable option.

I’m also concerned that I’m, in effect, acquiescing to arts cuts and giving up on the “publish in lit mags, then publish your book” convention. And besides, I love my literary magazines – I love reading new work, skimming bios, and getting to know who’s out there, so to speak. Although (should I admit this?) I do shelve most of mine on the back of the toilet tank because I spend more and more of my reading time in front of the computer. To be clear, I still read bound, printed books, but I find myself reading blogs like I never have before. Lemon Hound, Vox Populism, Quill and Quire (to name a few) are all providing discussion points into poetic aesthetics, politics, and publishing. While I used to hate Facebook and Twitter, I’m discovering the potential of social networking for poetry – to keep it alive and out there – where it’s read, discussed, and felt, whichever the medium.

Poetry has been around a lot longer than literary magazines. There’s no question it will survive, but how? Will writers in my generation learn to produce handstitched chapbooks (a method poet Tim Lander advocates) or will we push out into another medium? I think we might do both – rely on the older traditions, but in new forms. In my program, some of us are talking about creating a publishing cooperative, a type of venue, which, I gather, went out in the sixties (twenty years before I was born).

If the literary magazines fold, a part of me wonders who will sanction new poetry. I hate that concept – “sanctioning” – but I can’t say that, for lack of a better phrase, quality control isn’t important to me; the new medium should uphold and respect the craft, skill, and hard work of writing poetry. But is that my MFA begging for attention? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t do it any other way, but years of workshopping can have a negative effect on my sense of ownership of my work, and that’s something I need to come to terms with.

So I’m waiting to see what happens. In any case, regardless of how it’s written or published, poetry shouldn’t, as Tim Lander says, be reproduced without love.

Posted in Poetry, Publishing | 4 Comments